Platform setup

How FriendShaping is built

FriendShaping is a modern web application built on a well-structured, layered design. Think of it like a building with clear floors: the top floor is what you see and interact with (the website), the middle floors contain the business rules (what's allowed, what's safe), and the basement is where all your data is safely stored. Every request you make travels through these layers in order — nothing can bypass the safety rules and go straight to your data. This separation is deliberate, so a mistake in one layer can't accidentally break another.

Where your data physically lives

Our development and production servers run at OVHcloud, a European hosting provider. Production runs in a data centre in Limburg, Germany. All servers — development, production, and even our AI machine — run on Windows Server, a mainstream, professionally maintained operating system from Microsoft. Your data is stored in SQL Server, an industry-standard database system trusted by enterprises worldwide. This isn't a garage setup; it's enterprise-grade infrastructure. Your source code is stored privately in version control (Microsoft Azure DevOps).

Your data stays yours

We are 100% transparent about what happens to your data and how we store it. All data we store serves only the functionality of this site — nothing more. Your data will not leave our servers for third parties. We only use strictly necessary cookies: to keep you signed in, to protect your forms and to remember your language. No hidden agendas. No ads. No tracking. We welcome community audits of our platform and practices.

For full legal detail on data handling, retention, and your rights, see our Privacy Policy.

How your account & login work

All communication between your browser and our servers is encrypted using HTTPS. This means when you send your password, messages, or any personal data, it's scrambled so thoroughly that even if someone intercepts the data as it travels across the internet, they cannot read it. Only your browser and our servers can unscramble it — it's like sending a letter in a locked box that only you and we have keys for.

Your password is never stored as readable text — only a one-way scrambled (hashed) version is kept, so even we cannot see your actual password. We use exactly four cookies, all strictly necessary to run the site, with nothing for tracking or advertising:

• Keeps you signed in — remembers that you're logged in so you don't have to re-enter your password on every page (lasts 14 days if you tick "Remember me", otherwise clears when you close your browser).
• Protects your forms — a background safety check that stops malicious sites from submitting things on your behalf.
• Remembers your session — short-term technical bookkeeping while you're actively using the site.
• Remembers your language — keeps the language you chose (English or Dutch) for one year. If your browser blocks it, the site still works: the language is also part of the web address (/en/ or /nl/).

Today, sign-in is handled directly by FriendShaping's own account system. In the future, we plan to add support for signing in with existing accounts like Google or Facebook ("social login"), so members can join faster without creating a new password.

Full detail on cookies and how to manage them in your browser: see our Cookie Policy.

AI, done carefully

Any AI capability we use runs on hardware we personally own and operate — physically separate from our web servers — so AI processing never has to leave our infrastructure and never goes to third-party AI providers. This is still being designed and is not yet live; it's not a unilateral decision we're making alone.

The leading direction is using AI to help automatically notice unsuitable behaviour between members (such as harassment or inappropriate messages) so our moderation team can be alerted and review each case before taking action. This is about protecting members and feeding into our existing human review and appeal process — not replacing it. For details on how moderation works today, see our Moderation Policy.

You help decide what's next

New functionality — including whether and how we use AI — isn't decided by us alone. Our members can propose features and vote on what gets built next via Community Consensus. Your voice shapes what FriendShaping becomes.